


A Silent Secret

by Kandikitty13



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: College Life, F/F, Roomates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22886323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kandikitty13/pseuds/Kandikitty13
Summary: Jade, Tori and Trina move in together for convenience, of course. The apartment is small and over priced, but it's better than living with their parents. Something has grown between Jade and Tori, something they have silently agreed to not discuss.Can they overcome the obstacles they've made for themselves?
Relationships: Tori Vega & Jade West, Tori Vega/Jade West
Comments: 9
Kudos: 125





	1. How We Are

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction, however as I transfer it I am editing and changing things.

**_Mamihlapinatapai- (Noun) Two people looking at each other each hoping the other will do what they both desire but neither is willing to do._ **

How I was roped into sharing an apartment with the Vega sisters I will never fucking know, yet here I am preparing coffee while a tea kettle warms on the stove. Here _we_ are standing in the kitchen while some random pop song plays in the background. The kettle whistles signaling me to pour the scolding water into a mug with a the word 'anxie-TEA' printed on it. A splash of milk plus a small spoon of sugar is how Tori likes her tea. My coffee still has a second so I move to set the table for two. Trina didn't come home last night, shocker. Tori fills our plates with eggs, toast and bacon. I set both of our mugs down before I take my seat at the head of the table and she sits to my left. This is our new normal, it has been since the semester started. This is just what we do now apparently.

We sit in silence just eating until she locks eyes with me. It's a question of sorts. "You're getting better. It's not burnt this time." I state before the eye contact is too much and I look down at my mug.

"Yeah, tea isn't bad either." I don't need to see her face to know she is smiling.

"I've never fucked up your tea." I counter taking another forkful of eggs.

"Not that I've told you."

It's totally a challenge but I can't bring myself to take it. "You've got 7 minutes to get ready or I'm leaving you." It's not entirely a serious statement but I do have a class in half an hour and it takes 20 minutes to get to campus. I receive a real glare before she huffs off to her room. I exhale slowly taking a deliberate sip of coffee. This woman will definitely be the death of me, or at least my GPA. Ever since we've moved in together things have gotten... strange. The environment isn't hostile, no it's like our own world once the front door closes and it's hard to do anything or want to leave. I'd rather sit on the couch and bicker about what to watch then work on a script or go to work. I'd rather be here... with her than anywhere else, but we have prioritizes we need to focus on.

Right on schedule Tori wonders into the living room her bag slung casually over her shoulder just as I finish lacing my boots up. She tosses me my keys and we are out the door. The drive is almost as comfortable as home, my music fills the space and she sits leaning more toward me than not. This is just how it is. How we are now. After I park there is a second of silence where we just stare at each other. I can feel it like a magnet, I want to pull her in and do something affectionate but I don't. Neither does she.

"I have to prep some sets tonight. Bring me dinner in the theater." It's not something that needs to be said, Tori always brings me dinner when I have to stay late. My entire class knows who she is. It's just an excuse to keep her a bit longer.

"Always so bossy. What if I already have dinner plans?" Her arms cross but there is a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"Who would have dinner with you?" I quip trying hard to keep my jealous at bay.

"Oh I have options." The brunette is full on grinning. Her arms drop as she slowly starts walking away "Later Jade."

I scowl. "Whatever." Walking in the opposite direction, as a list of names runs through my mind, Vega has always had options. I sit in a middle row dropping my bag on the table in front of me when my phone goes off: " _Usual sushi order? ;)"_ I sigh more in relief than exasperation, this chick will definitely be the death of me.

It's well passed 11 when we make our way back into the apartment. Together we collapse on the couch. Her head falls on my shoulder and mine lays on top of hers. "Can't it be summer already?"

"Vega it's October. Just be happy it's almost the weekend."

She response with a groan "Does that even count? It's opening weekend for your play and I have that test on Monday... We have no break! I really just need a night out."

"We can do something next weekend okay? Just need to get through this fucking week." I'm sure there were many implications in my sentence but both of us, too tired to examine what we meant, were asleep in moments.


	2. How We Could Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, guess what? I am alive! And honestly I thought I had posted this second chapter already... so my bad.

**_Absquatulate- (verb) to leave abruptly_ **

With my play, Vega's exam, and our combined homework load. Our conversation on the couch, half asleep mind you, was all but forgotten. We never brought it up, like most things between us. So when Friday inevitably rolled around again I didn't know what to expect. Would we actually go out to do something? Would she even mention hanging out at all? My already intense stress levels were reaching new highs. The best way to quell my anxiety was to not think about it.

I simply sat at the table drinking coffee, staring at an empty computer screen that should hold my outline for a new scene. However I could hear Tori moving about her room, music playing as usual. She was getting ready for something. Whether it had anything to do with me was yet to be seen. When I heard her door open I frantically toggled to The Slap scrolling through the news like I was doing something other than panicking.

"How do I look?" She asked holding out her arms in a semi shrug.

How did she look? That didn't deserve an answer, it didn't need an answer. Tori, as beautiful as ever, was fitted in a violet dress that hugged her in a perfect way. Not revealing much just accenting everything in the best way. Her make up matched. It was clear she spent a long while getting ready but what does my smart mouth say "What you got a date or something?"

Her eyes roll in that knowing way. "Yes Jade, I have a date. Do I look okay? Does it seem like I'm trying to hard?"

"Are you trying to hard?" Oh Christ, yes let me just dig my own grave.

"Ooookay! I'm going to take that as I look fine thanks. I'm having dinner with Grieg from Lab." She _strutted_ to the counter getting a glass out, slightly standing on her tip toes. She didn't have shoes on yet.

"You should wear your converse." I stated not taking my eyes off of her. The thought was out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Don't misunderstand, I love when she gets dressed up, but Vega in her usual clothes was just nice and her converse are her favorite.

Setting her glass on the counter her face scrunched up. "I'm dressed to the nines in the most fancy get up I can muster and you think I should wear... converse." The sentence dropped off in exhaustion.

"Converse are nice." Yup okay this needed to stop, I couldn't think clearly with her looking so... like that! I slammed my laptop closed and stood with too much force sending my chair to the floor. "Well I'm headed to the, that- I'm going to Ihop! Have fun on your date, make good choices bring condoms don't do drugs ya know have fun!" I stumbled over my thoughts, words just tumbling from my lips as I shoved shoes on and left without waiting for her to respond. I took the stairs at a run reaching my car in record time in case she decided to follow me. "What the fuck is wrong with me." I mumbled while actually heading toward the closest Ihop.

It just so happened Andre was working, how lucky? We made ideal chit chat when he had lulls in customers. I'd been there for almost an hour at this point.

"You wanna talk about why you're here, or are you gonna make me guess?" He bluntly asked after I had kept dodging his subtle attempts.

I sighed heavier than I intended, taking a large mouthful of coffee to prolong my answer. After all these years Andre has seen me at my worst and like Tori, he can see through me. "Vega has a date." I finally stated.

"Ah, trouble in Arcadia. I should have known. You realize there is a simple fix right?" He gives me _that_ look.

"And what would that be, oh high master of love?" I ask with an eye roll.

"Just tell her how you feel. Everyone knows you two are heels over head for each other. One of you just needs to say it."

"It isn't a good time Andre, we are fuck deep in our majors. I'm not going to force more stress on her or myself for that matter."

"Jade there is never going to be a good time. You will always see some excuse not to say something. Muscle up buttercup and get your lady." He nodded to the door.

Vega was standing there looking a bit frazzled until her eyes took mine. A grin broke her face as she walked over to us.

"Let me get some more coffee" He smiled siding hugging Tori before taking the pot and heading to the back.

"That was a fast date." I felt my eyebrow raise on its own accord.

A nervous laugh accompanied a shrug "I sort of left early."

"He that much of a prick? Shit." I took a drink forcing down the hope that started to bubble in my chest.

"No he was a complete gentlemen." She watched as Andre came back filling up both mugs before cursing under his breath as a party of 10 walked in.

"What made you leave than?" We locked eyes, both knowing the answer.

"I had somewhere else to be." She hid her smirk behind her cup as a converse covered foot bumped into my boot.


	3. How We Want To Be

_**Blatherskite- (noun) a person who talks at great length without making much sense** _

Tori and I stood at the entry way into the kitchen, a bulky guy in just pajama pants was bustling around making breakfast.

"Who the fuck are you?" I finally questioned when he didn't notice us.

He jumped slightly "Christ! Don't scare me like that!" He smiled at us then turned to grab plates "Trina said you guys sleep late so I didn't think you'd be up yet. Either of you...want coffee?" He asked quietly noticing we still hadn't moved.

"It's too early for this." I grumbled nodding at him as I moved to take the cup he poured. I waved him out of the way to utilize an empty burner to put the kettle on.

"You must be Jade, making you Tori." He nodded "Yeah I can see the resemblance. I'm Aaron nice to finally meet you!" Aaron smiled brightly again, he was like a ray of sunshine.

"Aaron like the guy Trina has been gushing about none stop, Aaron?" Tori questioned sitting in her usual spot.

"I thought she was stalking him." I mumbled into my cup, using my freehand to make Tori's tea.

"Uh. Nope we are dating."

"That's my mug." I told him as he was tending to the eggs on the stove.

"Ah makes sense. Trina said you were a horror fanatic." He looked down at 'The Scissoring' stamped in bloody red print on the black mug.

"You sure know a lot about us." Tori commented, smiling her thanks as I set her mug down, taking the seat next to her.

"Trina talks about you both all the time. Mostly how you're nothing but trouble and cause huge headaches for her." He shook his head with a ghost of a smile. Did he actually _like_ Trina?

The for mentioned brunette came stalking out. "Now that you've officially met my sister and her girlfriend, will you please come back to bed?" She asked wrapping her arms around his waist

"Aw come on I'm making breakfast. We can chow down and cuddle on the couch okay?" He asked softly to which she agreed.

We didn't correct her mistake, or maybe we didn't want to. Either way the abrupt stating of 'girlfriend' lingered in the air, making an awkward silence between us. I wanted to say something sarcastic to get out of this funk but I could feel the blush on my face and _see_ it on Tori's.

"Fine, but can you also make pancakes?" She kissed his shoulder making her own cup of coffee and joining us at the table.

"Anything for you dear."

He was actually _sincere_ when he said that making me stop mid sip and Tori focus back on the real world.

This is not how I pictured this morning going to say the least. The four of us ate at the table, Trina filled us in on how they got together though no one actually asked, Aaron told us about himself, which I don't remember much of, and he asked us a lot of questions. I couldn't tell if he just talked when he was nervous or if he honest to Gods wanted to know. Everything from how we met (which Tori embellished just a tad to put me in a better light), our majors, hobbies. Thankfully Tori did all of the talking, I just hummed agreements when she looked at me for conformation.

"Wow you guys are pretty different! And seem to have busy schedules, how do you guys handle that? You must not see each other often?" He had started clearing the table.

"It's not too bad. We drive to campus in the morning, usually take lunch together and when one of us has to stay late the other does too." Tori brought the coffee pot over to refill my mug.

"When do you have time to like go on dates or something though? That has to take a toll on your relationship." 

We may not be in a relationship but damned if I was going to let this guy insinuate we didn't have a healthy one! "You make time when it's important." I nearly growled before Tori could say something. "Like today, we have a whole date day thing planed," I checked my phone for the time "which we should really be getting ready for, right To- babe?" I stood up taking my coffee to my room.

Oh holy shit what did I just do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet my friends, but I'll have the next one up soon


	4. How We Choose To Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter! Very exciting.

My car was deathly silent, the keys hanging from the ignition but I couldn't bring myself to start it. 

"Are we really doing this?" Tori's voice, barely a whisper, shattered the tension.

"Sitting in a car not talking? Yup." I couldn't look at her.

"Jade, you know that's not what I meant." Her hand gently touched my forearm, tugging slightly to bring our hands together. "Why did you say we had a date?"

"Why did you not correct board shorts?!" I snapped holding her hand tighter. 

"Board... He was in sweat pants!" 

I locked eyes with her and a small laugh encompassed us. 

"I didn't correct him for the same reasons you didn't." Her brown eyes were that soft shade, the shade of comfort.

Looking for any sign of a lie, I sighed "I didn't like him saying we didn't have a good relationship. We see each other a lot! Just because we don't go on dates doesn't mean we don't have a normal healthy relationship!" The air wasn't so heavy anymore, she gave my hand a squeeze before letting go to put her seat belt on. I turned the key and reversed out of the spot, our hands naturally coming back to each other.

"We've never gone on a non forced date and we don't have a normal relationship. He wasn't exactly wrong, also he didn't actually say we didn't have a healthy relationship. I think he was more impressed we can make it work."

So it went. We argued about what Aaron actually meant, bickered about what a normal relationship is and slyly avoided what we classify our relationship thus far as- all while I drove around with one hand occupied by hers. It wasn't until our conversation lulled that I wanted to pull over. We sat at our usual coffee place across from one another, finally ready to make a choice.

"I didn't want to say anything because well, why would I? So far we've mostly had a weird toxic friendship at best. Then we moved in together and things slowly shifted, before I could even process what was happening we had a whole thing set up." The coffee didn't help the lump in my throat go down.

"You could have asked what was happening on my end ya know?" Her eyes caught mine but there was hesitation as she held her hand palm up between us.

I rolled my eyes "Yes I am the best at admitting I have no idea what is going on." I placed my finger tips on hers, not fully convinced.

"You knew what was going on Jade, otherwise you wouldn't have let me this close to you. I've been waiting for you to reject or accept this. You've been on the fence for a while."

Her sentence hung in the air. Excuses threatened their way out of my mouth but I couldn't do that this time. There was no way to brush this off and make everything normal because our normal was in fact not. Whatever hand changed started too long ago to go back on.

"So what do we do?" I slipped my fingers into hers.

"Well I choose this" her thumb tapped mine "but really this, the full version not just second guesses."

"What about what his nuts from lab?" I half smiled making sure she knew I was joking.

Tilting her head she hummed "Oh I hadn't thought about that. You make a compelling argument." Her smile was contagious.

"Shut up you know I'm better than him." I stood pulling her with me.

"I dunno Jade he is very nice." The sarcasm was pliable.

I opened her door for her "I can make him disappear." 

"You wouldn't!" She raised an eyebrow.

"Watch me." I deadpanned.

"Ja-" I cut her off with a soft kiss. We lingered there, foreheads pressed together.

"See?"

"See what?"

"I made him disappear." I smirked.

"That is the cheesiest thing I've ever heard you say." She kissed me again before getting in.

I shook my head closing the door for her. This isn't how I thought this would go but it was extremely us and I would always choose this over everything else.


End file.
